Oh, Sweet Jesus!

"One of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever."

Chocolate Jesus is not an insult to Christianity. If you ask me, chocolate Easter bunnies are an insult to Christianity. Christmas trees are an insult to Christianity.

Why turn religious rejoicing into an uber-consumer fest? Why do you have to go out and buy something to prove how much faith you have?

Everyone who knows me knows I am not a religious person; however, if I was, I’d prefer religion without the bells and whistles.

I was raised Catholic, and man, we loved those bells and whistles. Tradition. We are all about it.

This is a theory, mind you, just a theory. Don't spend a lot of time crinkling your nose about it. The bells and whistles exist to “hook” kids on religion. Pretty ornaments. Colored unedible eggs. Decorative lights. Big happy Christmas bows bound for landfills.

Back when we were getting hooked on phonics, we were also getting hooked on Jesus.

In fact, things like Santa Claus and the Easter bunny could be likened to Jesus spokespeople. Think of them as like, the Ronald McDonald or the Joe Camel of God.

On Christmas, it’s like you get a really really special Happy Meal.

Religious holidays are the best advertising campaigns ever invented!

It all must be pretty convincing because I probably just offended 76% of the population.

From a religious tolerance website:

"During 2001-FEB to APR, the Graduate Center of the City University of New York conducted an American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS). It was a massive poll, questioning 50,281 American adults about their religious affiliations during 2001-FEB to APR. 2 They obtained some results that are noticeably different from the Pluralism Project's data. The differences are mainly because they asked their poll subjects what religion they considered themselves to be, rather than what religion they were actually affiliated with. Results included:

76.5% of American adults are Christian (52% Protestant; 24.5% Catholic).

14.1% do not follow any organized religion; they are Agnostics, Atheists, Humanists, Secularists, or have no religious affiliation.

1.3% are Jewish.

0.5% are Muslim, followers of Islam.

0.5% are Buddhist.

0.4% are Hindu.

0.3% are Unitarian Universalist.

0.1% are Neopagan (Druids, Pagans, Wiccans, etc)"

Even the most successful advertising campaign of all time like the Marlboro man, and the "Think Small." Volkswagen Beetle campaign didn't make three-fourths of the population buy their product.

However, the same website also says:

"The most rapidly growing religious/spiritual/ethics grouping in the US is not an organized religion; it consists of non-believers (Atheists, Agnostics, etc.)."

And the chocolate Jesus? I mean, this guy makes rooms out of cheese apparently. I don't think it's necessary to be making threats on his life.